"Traviesa!"

Ever since I moved to Vegas I've been doing a lot more driving than when I was in school. I've recently been hearing the radio advertising Jerry Seinfeld's stand-up going on Friday and Saturday. He's not the best comedian out there but these excerpts did make me laugh:

"Having a two year old is like having a blender in the house, only you can't find the top for it."

Small children are very messy but it's not like you can be a mean jerk to them. I took a quick nap today on the couch and a small hand slapped my face with strawberry jam. Then when I got up I stepped in more jam mixed with saltine crackers on the floor. If your roommate did this, you could punch him/her in the nose for being an idiot. Certainly can't do that to a two year old. In fact, she won't even care if you yell at her. She'll just slap more jam on your jeans. I just washed those!

"Why would you want someone in your house...who craps in their pants...while they're looking you RIGHT IN THE EYES?!"

I kid you not, this actually happened to me a couple days ago. When a baby stares at you with a serious look on their face and they're just standing there and you know they're taking a huge poop, you can't help but crack out with a gut-busting laugh! At least that's what I did. I laughed HARDCORE.