Phone sales

This lady kept calling trying to sell some water thing. The third time she called I spoke slowly and dramatically then said some nonsense at the end to scare her off. That'll teach her to call my house again!

Roberto: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, I'm calling from (water purification company). Can I speak with the homeowner?
Roberto: Yes.
(silence)
Telemarketer: Are you the homeowner?
(silence)
Roberto: Yes.
Telemarketer: You are the homeowner?
Roberto: Yeah!
Telemarketer: Okay, sir! My name is (blank) and I'd like to tell you about an offer we have going on this month. How long have you lived at your address?
Roberto: ...hm...I don't know, it's been a while. We just moved in this month.
Telemarketer: Okay. Well, what our company does is install water purification systems into homes so that the water coming from your sinks is safer to drink. As you may know, the water that currently comes out of your sink has many minerals in it which is why it tastes different that drinking water. Do you currently buy drinking water for your home?
Roberto: Buy water? What?
Telemarketer: You don't purchase water by the gallon at a grocery store?
Roberto: Oh yeah, I do that. I purchase water.
Telemarketer: Well, sir, with our system installed you wouldn't have to buy water anymore because it would take out the impurities from the water that you currently get at home making it taste better.
Roberto: Okay. I like tasty water.
Telemarketer: Uh, okay, well, like I mentioned earlier we have an offer going on this month for new homeowners. Your address is (she tells me my address). Is this correct?
Roberto: Lets see. (I repeat the address very slowly). Yes that's my address!
Telemarketer: Good, okay sir, well, our offer is that we can install our system in your home and you can try it out for 30 days. If you like it you'll be assessed the installation fee and our monthly rate. If you don't like it you can call us before the 30 days and we will uninstall it. So how does tomorrow morning at 10:00 work for you?
Roberto: Oh, no, tomorrow at 10:00 doesn't work.
Telemarketer: Okay, will an afternoon time work? I can have an installation rep be there as late as 4:00 pm?
Roberto: No, 4:00 pm won't work either.
Telemarketer: Is there a time that would work for you this week. I can see if we can schedule you in.
Roberto: No, actually no times work. (whispers) My doctor said I can't have visitors.
Telemarketer: (laughs out loud then quickly stops herself) I'm sorry. Is there someone else with you who makes these decisions?
Roberto: Oh no.
Telemarketer: Do you have a caretaker or someone who helps you?
Roberto: No, I take care of myself.
Telemarketer: Uh...
Roberto: (whispers) I'm working on a secret project!
Telemarketer: (sounding worried) Um, okay, sir. Thank you for your time.
Roberto: OKAY!
Telemarketer: Okay, you have a nice day.
Roberto: YEAH!! I'M GOING TO HAVE A GREAT DAY!!
Telemarketer: Okay, sir, bye-bye.
Roberto: Bye, now.

Quick post

Collective sightings so far:

• Harrison Ford (or a doppleganger) in a scruffed up suit asking for $5.00 at a Smith's parking lot.
• John "Jigsaw" Kramer entering a Home Depot. Probably a Tobin Bell look-alike.
  

Slightly good news: While I was doing laundry I found $3.00 in one of my jeans. I now have $16.00 total in my pocket. Yay!

"Game over"

Just watched "Saw IV" today and really enjoyed it. The traps, the gore, the violence! Awesome. Another cliffhanger ending left me wanting to watch the next two movies already. Gotta wait until next Hallowe'en I guess.